♥ Shizzle Nizzle ♥ // 13 Life Lessons by Lee Junho

1. How to look ballin’

YES

Idk about you but this pic screams bad boy to me. He’s got that playful yet annoying face (a quality that girls dig in playboys, sadly enough) but still teasing us with his cherry popsicle lips as if he’s been sucking it and only it for the last century. Makes you wonder how sweet his lips must taste like, right? Damn. And that blonde head faceless chick on the side only adds to the whole “Don’t mind me I’m just taking random selcas before getting some action in my orgy party in which you are not invited” idea.

Really, Ho? The fingers? And the smirk face is just not working for me so the only action you would be getting is me slapping you in the face.

2. How to take good selcas

YES

We all know the key to a great selca is the amount of lighting to hide our flaws. You need the brightest light you can possibly find, if you can manage to take a picture a mile away from the sun, you might wanna consider that too. Lee Junho right here, is a pro in taking selcas. Do you see how he angled his face to show his jawline and how the light hitting his side as if it’s the only place on earth to hit? That my friend, is what I call skill. Of course the 2nd picture is like an icing on a cake because in case you still look ugly in color, at least you can be ugly-ly classy in b&w. That’s not the case with Junho though.

I mean, what the fuck is happening here?

3. How to take picture with your idol

YES

Fucking own it, dude. You made Rain looks like your backup dancer. You smiled wider than he did, hence THE ATTENTION. And your hat looked better than his. Oh wait…

Were you physically molested? Was he your father you just recently found out about? What’s with the unenthusiastic face? AND WHY THE HELL YOU HAD A BACKPACK ON?

4. How to incorporate fingers into your picture

YES

Although they look awkward and unsure, they work with his face. One hand saying No but the other is almost inviting. It’s like saying “Please don’t come near me because I’m a fragile little flower petal but if you insist and promise to be gentle, you may proceed.”

“I salute you while reaching into my 5 mm caliber gun that I secretly hid under my fluffy winter jacket.” IDEK… even Jay was confused.

5. How to prove that you love animals

YES

Other than the fact that the retriever was wearing a leopard print cardigan and it seemed like it was humping Junho, this picture was a success because I could see the chemistry and Junho looked very pleased with the abundant love he was getting.

He must have put on some duck repellent cream earlier lol even the ugly duckling ran away from him. Poor thing.

6. How to stay cool while consuming food/beverages

YES

WHOA DER, were you grabbing the can or it just magically floated and rested on your perfectly manicured fingers? No one knows and he didn’t seem care either.

No one should ever consume a fake plastic leaf or whatever that was, not on press conference, not even when you had nothing else to eat. Taec’s woven mesh white top looked more edible than that, I mean c’mon.

7. How to look cute on stage

YES

Just keep it minimal, a simple peace sign that makes all fangirls scream like they are on a roller coaster ride. His hidden smile was also perfect, unlike teethy-grin by Taec which, I bet, would be visible if the picture was any lower.

Wow, really? Which part of heaven are you from?

8. How to “own” a stage

YES

Shit, look at his swagga. All dem ladies couldn’t keep their paws at him, and who would blame them? The tight white pants is not even a proper way to begin to explain how hot he looked that night.

RIP

9. How to show abs

YES

Yes although the abs are pretty much non-existent (or NOT YET, dare I say), he did it effortlessly on stage during the singing which makes it look natural. His hip dips are TDF and sue me for saying he’s got the cutest belly button ever.

Such a waste of time and effort, when your audience consists of Ok Taecyeon who although appeared like he was enjoying the view, he at least must have seen the abs 1723720370472384720 million more times before. The other guy was irrelevant enough to deserve such blurring treatment.

10. How to rock a shade

YES

Panties creamed and ovaries burst, sweet lord Jesus why is he so fine?

You know it’s true when you’re constantly looking down at the massive pussy because his massive glasses that resembles KBH RX’s is too painful to see.

11. How to be a supportive band member

YES

He is Lee Junho and he fucking love them all enough to sleep with them every night okhaaaaay how dare you asking such questions?

IDK what he did or what he said but they obviously hated him especially Wooyoung and his abnormally large clown shoes ready to make him GTFO.

12. How to work with your prop

YES

When you get a condom, SAY ANNYEONG AND BREAK IT.

You own them, Lee Junho…don’t let it own your soul.

13. How to tease Hottest

YES

Like, OMG did they do it? Didn’t they do it??? If they didn’t do it why did Junho do that for? Are they dating? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SHADOWY WOMAN BLOCKING OUR VIEW, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? etc etc~ Keeping the mystery going is a part of reason why Stephen King’s novels are famous.