♥ Shizzle Nizzle ♥ // 15 Reasons Why Chansung is a Perfect Namja

15 Reasons Why Chansung is a Perfect Namja

1. He rocks hairstyles no one ever could

Have you seen anyone in Kpop looking as fabulous as him with a bun on his head? If you answered “YES”, then please move along and skip reading this post because it’s obvious you have a different view than the rest of the world. You against the world.

Your choice, bitch.

Speaking of choice, we would never thought pairing a ginger sonic hedgehog hair with an orange shirt but this kid made it look like it was the coolest thing in town. If we were namjas (yes we just slaughtered Korean language but don’t judge because we know you do it too; chingus, nunas, oppars, etc) and we walked into a hair salon, we would have picked that style above even if we were bald. Damn, skunk hair never looked this hawt.

2. He eats his hyungs

Hyungs are food, that’s his philosophy in life. There was a phase that we suspected he was just growing late and still teething, but we then realized it was just him and that’s what he likes to do. Nothing wrong with that, people express their loves in many ways and who knows, maybe he was just re-living the “beast” image we put on them. Although, we noticed he had tasted everyone except Khun. He tried to sniff him here and there but never cared to make further attack. Perhaps he just doesn’t dig imported meat. Patriotism, bitches!!!

3. He’s a Bibliophile

No it’s not a disease, it just means he reads a lot of books. And by books we meant Patrick Süskind and Alain de Botton, not some Bleach and Slam Dunk (looking at chu, Taecyeon, although we have nothing against mangas). He might appear dumb on shows but in real life he’s pretty deep and thoughtful. Not to mention he cries easily. Ok, well maybe that one has more to do with his late-growing than reading books, but whatever, you got the idea.

4. He’s always been the cool kid

9 years of Taekwondo, 3 years Kumdo…I mean, WHAT WHAT?!?! Rumor has it, he already had groupies in his high school following him around to every competition he went since this kid was kicking ass all over Seoul with his tree trunks legs and flawless face. Unfortunately we can’t say the same thing about his friend right here:

but dats okay, life is unfair sometimes.

5. He’s flexible

Ya, we know this is not too special but we just wanted to find excuses to post a picture of his ass…so go ahead and sue us.

6. He’s unpredictable

One moment he’s all and the next he’ll be all .

I mean it’s a constant roller coaster for us, the fans, we just don’t know if we should fap or laugh whenever we see him on TV, so it’s fair to say that we have mastered the act of Fap’n’Laugh (yes, we did put so much thinking to come up that name)…just in case.

7. He’s a good actor

Probably not the best screen cap we had for him, but please take a look at this goddamn pic and tell us you didn’t feel his pain from that high kick in a drama called High Kick (oh the irony).

He’s got it, at such a young age too, probably when Wooyoung was still playing soccer and Taecyeon still thought he was modeling (sorry, we love making fun of Taec since he is a troll). Oh and watch out, Wooyoung, because if your tunnel is never ready, Chansung will show you how to get things done:

8. His whisper is the Lucifer

Now you know what SHINee was fussing about. Shit is scarier if it’s based on true story, you guise…trufax.

9. He’s as transparent as Wooyoung’s T-Panty

See what happened there? Jealousy.

Here? Pee-in-my-pants excitement.

Unimpressed by your miniscule penis.

Playing Charades and the word was “holy cow”. He did “holy” already.

This condom is not big enough.

You just jealous.

After he saw your nude pic.

10. He owns something Nickhun never does

A normal set of nipples.

11. He’s the only person Junsu ever slept with

After the rest of the gang badmouthed Su for being stinky and isolated him in an empty room with only a futon, Chansung came and embraced him like Jesus with Mary Magdalene. Too bad Su kind of forgot to return the kindness and even stole Chansung’s given meat from fans which made Chansung almost cried on TV (jfc, what’s with him and crying?). Later tho, we saw Su was teaching Chan some cool mofo gang signs so I guess they worked it out.

12. You could throw some food at him, blind, and it will still go in

“If it fits it’s food”. In his case it’s just like saying “The sky is the limit”, basically.

13. Posting Minjae’s baby pic and claimed that it was him

loljk it’s Chansung…but you never know with the trolling that kids love to do these days and Minjae seems like a guy who would jump into a shark cove covered in blood for 2PM so I don’t think we can get the truth out of him even if we try.

14. His Twitter

It was so entertaining watching him being trolled by Taecyeon (see? we had reasons to make fun of Taec earlier…) and not knowing how to delete a tweet. Also what’s with the horny love-making song he’s been recommending recently? Damn boi don’t be speaking in riddles, just reply to our daily creepy tweets or DM us personally if you /needs a girl/ keukeukeu

15. His sweet mighty abs

You think we forgot? We save the best for last but we rather not show you any picture because we don’t want to disrespect him. LOLJK again, it’s just because we couldn’t choose, they’re all great and you know it. But what we can show you is how fun and kind master he has been for the harem, so here we were the last time we hung out together by the pool. DON’T BE JEALOUS THO’, we’ve warned you in advance.

[We’ve been Chan Harem, celebrating Hwang Chansung birthday in the best way we could possibly do; with dickery and profanity]