Catalyst - The first time he saw her she had dirt smeared across her cheek, pale pink dress covered in October leaves, her hair all bright and chaotic around her face like a halo. She smiled her gratitude once he licked his thumb and rid of her stain, tiny palm reached out asking for a handshake. He didn’t know her name, but she had the kind of smile that no one could lie to. He ran off with no words and disappeared behind a big white door, leaving her big eyes and confused. His new neighbor was going to be the end of him.
When he was ten years and eleven months old, he witnessed his first tropical storm. He jolted up on his bed, resisting urge to run into his mother’s arm when a tree had crashed into electric poles outside his bedroom, sparks flying and his house went dark like the rest of the neighborhood. She was in third grade. She stared at him across his window, yellow beam of her flashlight caught his eyes as she waved it around. She wrote on a paper and pushed it against the glass. He squinted to read her weird looking handwriting. Are you afraid? - she wrote. He huffed, what kind of question is that? Of course he’s afraid. He hated darkness; but she did not know that. God, she cannot know that. So he shrugged nonchalantly. He watched her writing another note - I’m scared too - Suddenly, he felt a whole lot better.
When he finally got her to understand the meaning of ‘no’, he wished she hadn’t cried in front of him. “I just want to make it pretty,” she said. But you see, ‘pretty’ was not what he wanted on his surf board. ‘Pretty’ would not win him a competition or bring home prize money. ‘Pretty’ is only for girls. “Quit buggin’ me or I’ll tell your dad you used his car last night,” he threatened, eyes never left his hand full of wax, scrubbing his board back and forth. “But I have acrylic paint. I just bought them yesterday. Please, let me draw on it?” she tried again. He shot her a look and she must knew that was the end of it. So she gathered her brushes, wiped away her tears and marched back to her backyard.
When she turned seventeen he came by her house at midnight, hours had passed since her party died down. “You’re late,” she muttered. “Too many people,” he argued. “Where’s my present?” she asked. He felt his palm clammy, of course he knew she would ask. Before he changed his mind once again, he quickly pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. “Happy birthday,” he whispered into her hair. She smelled like jasmines. “Best gift ever,” she whispered back and sighed into his shirt.
On one particular summer break, she honked three times and waved ecstatically as soon as she saw him. His suitcase was no where near as full but he never owned that many shoes anyway. “Where are we going?” he asked, glaring at her. She grinned, looked way too happy with way too little words. He should have said no when she invited him last night, but seeing her devious smile and her free floating hair blown by the warm summery breeze as she accelerated her Volkswagen, window down, he thought maybe…just maybe, this was the best decision he had ever made.
There are people who like facts, information, the kinds who ask questions like, Who created the universe? or If I mix this and that, would it catch fire? or Where are we going? They move like frequency wave, you see their patterns and passages and they go so very far. There are people whose souls are scattered like sands when the wind blew, the kinds who say things like, Let’s go to Rome tomorrow! or Yes, I know that light is blinking, so what do you want me to do? Goddd! or Please, I just want to make it pretty! They die fast and are unconditionally late, no low too low, no high too high. He always knew she was a distraction, a chaos; a catalyst. She would challenge him and made him mad. He would revive and made her cry. She said left and he went right and then they argued about it for the rest of the day. Together, they were a disaster.
The first time they made love he whispered her name over and over. They were somewhere in Prague - or was it Vienna? He couldn’t care less. She sprawled on the bed below him, bright hopeful eyes and swollen lips. A droplet of sweat ran down her heaving chest, glistening under the moonlight. “I chose you,” she said, smiling again at him - that very same smile no one could lie to, no one wanted to break her heart. “Always,” She cried out his name when he bucked into the waiting universe of hers, “- always been you.“
When they returned home everything was volte-face. Life moved on, seasons changed, friends drifted apart and people grew up. His kind of people wanted things like health insurance, or to grow old together sitting on the porch sipping sweet ice tea. But he always knew, she was not his kind of people. She was the kind who believed in astrology, who wished to draw on things like surf boards and white empty walls; the ones with too much feelings and change like the wind. See, he supposed people get lost in their own different ways, some just blaze away the days. But to make her commit? Lord have mercy on those who try.
She moved away and stopped sending him letters. It was his fault, really, he never returned any of them. She said she loved him in her last one; the only one he always carried around in his wallet. But life moved on, seasons changed, friends drifted apart and people grew up.
Eight years later they met again at a train station, she was wearing another man’s ring. She wondered if he’d ever missed her. He wondered if it was all too late.
I will never forget the day I finally met you ❤
Happy birthday, Wooyoung. Hope the world is as kind and hopeful as how it seemed years ago when you just won Toddlers & Tiaras. Nice wand, my friend.
L is for Lethal, not Love - The silver moonlight seeped through her curtain drapes, making silent entrance into the pitch dark room. She sat on her bed with her knees up, touching her chin. Mind wandered as he changed his sleeping position. Why did I cave in, she asked herself. After all these years she struggled to forget him. She was doing so well until last night, one single phone call and her wall shattered to the ground. She is weak. She is confused. Did he deserve her? Probably not. He was beautiful, more than everything she has ever seen. He said things like, let’s go swimming in the sky, he changed like the wind. He would find a bridge from which he would sit and watch the city roll on. Then he would point at the tallest building and said to her, “I would build that for you so we could climb up there and sit down like this”. She would ask him what they would do next, and he would tell her he would find her the next taller building to build. He thinks two steps further than everybody else.
On their first date, he drank all her whiskey, threw up all over her dress and told her he loved her. That moment she knew, he was all she ever wanted. What they had was like a glitch in the matrix, it was all rare and bizarre. But to her, it has to be rare, beautiful, and bizarre, otherwise she doesn’t want it. They were how she imagined connoisseurs to be. Days blazed into countless dusks, spent in confined rooms. Waking up too late, waking up too soon, who cares as long as the sun is still shining? They had each other, he had his way of a lover. He said when he loves someone, he’d do it in little pieces like a puzzle. When they made love, it was like an applique of interlocking souls. They could go for days, turning hunger into perpetual and sleep into an anomaly.
One day, they fought and she left. Her heart was sliced, diced, and divided into million bits, packaged, conveyed to the highest highs and lowest lows; a construction of one solid principle. The spaces between them should be appreciated, but she always hated the way he lingered, even after he was gone. Bedsheets she had to wash. Screw him, screw these last remnants of his scent. Screw the songs that all sing out his name, his face, his jet black hair. Screw him for the lost memories, they made their way home at the most convenient time. She decided, when he wakes up she would tell him their love is done, it had been, it had passed. To her, their love was like a fairytale, but you see, fairytales aren’t real. He is always two steps ahead, like he’s always been. He would break her heart once again, and this time she would never recover from the pain.
One of my favorite pictures of her, she looked extremely serene and ethereal.
Happy Birthday, Rebekah Kim. I think I’ve said everything I need to say about how cool this girl is… so cool that she posted her drawing above, 6 months before the famous game was even released lol
1. He’s a whizz kid
Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul. Try pronounce his name 3x and tell me you’re not enchanted by the phonaesthetics that rolls off your tongue. That’s how beautiful his name is, and if you’ve been out of loop since you’ve been living in a hidden cave somewhere, it’s supposed to be pronounced ni-tch-khun, not ni-khun. That tch works magic, okay? Because without “tch”, bitch will only be a bi…so don’t you dare eliminate that fucking “tch”.
If you’re done learning about his extraordinary name, you must know that this guy swears in 3 languages. Not to mention that he’s now famous everywhere, in Korea, in Thailand, in New Zealand, and in freakin’ Rancho Cucamonga (don’t worry, you don’t have to learn how to pronounce this one).
Now, who do we thank for all of these achievements?
Mr. and Mrs. Horvejkul, of course. Since Khun was at such young age, he was already introduced to the stage.
Ok wait, wrong picture.
There.
The heart-thumping and emotionally grueling experience of being a performer is never easy, but this kid prevailed. As you can see above, everyone was deeply impressed with the fierceness that exudes from the tip of his tiny little fingers down to his flawless en pointe.
He was also introduced to his future boss, although in this case it was pretty much coincidental.
…don’t look too happy, Khun. He’s gonna work your ass off.
2. His eyes are mesmerizing
I mean, seriously, how is that a human? His eyes are so freaking cute and round and innocent, and sometimes make you want to hit him with a club for being so blessed with a beautiful pair of eyes.
Funny how people say Asians got no eyes, just look at them. Chansung’s eye-size is borderline cow’s 
and Khun’s are like meerkat’s 
You can’t say no to those eyes even if they asked you to plummet into the deepest pit of hell and bring them back a lava rock as souvenir. You just….can’t.
3. He’s a friendly figure
No doubt Khun has the most fanboys among 2pm members but he never seem to differentiate his fans: 
Although this particular one makes me somewhat uncomfortable: 
4. He’s always confused
There were those days where I typed “khunfused” instead of “confused” and my mom was like “Child, go back to school.” and it’s all because of this guy. He was often caught looking bewildered, and I’m not talking about a “huh?” kind of confusion, he went ALL OUT looking like he did not know a single fuck about what was happening around him. It was again, cute, and amusing because as I mentioned above, his eyes are already big…so when Khun suffers from a serious state of khunfusion, he looks absolutely hilarious. 
(Jesus Christ, Khun…that is a cone of ice cream. Are you confused or blind?)
5. He has a deadly weapon
Winking vending machine, he was once called. Still eye-related but in this case, it takes more than the physical. You’ve got to have it: the charm, the attitude, and the extra something-something that makes people go crazy when you send those deadly wink like a viper releasing its venom 
Like seriously, those sparkles were not added, you guise…they’re naturally blazing off of him.
Another reason why his wink is so deadly, is because it has no gender preference, no one is immune to this thing…we’ve seen how well it’s been working so far 
It may look easy to do, I mean…it’s just a wink, right?
WRONG.
It’s trickier than you think. Someone once tried a long time ago and failed miserably: 
6. He’s a great model
No doubt, he’s one of the prettiest face in Kpop at the moment. I think JYPE can buy the Cinderella Castle from Disney World with the amount of money Khun brings to the company just by modelling alone if he wants to. It’s like, he has no ugly side. His small face, perfect height and long legs are meant to be photographed, I mean…I would frame his picture, hang it on my wall and claim him to be my son, you know what I mean? That’s how gorgeous he is.
But having said that, I always feel that his legs are too skinny for his body. He was okay two years ago but now that he’s bulked up, thanks to the other two gym freak giants, his proportion looks a bit off.
If I see him in person I would suggest that instead of working out using Chansung’s legs, why not try lift Chansung using his own legs and see how that goes from there 
7. He’s into role-play
Kinky, kinky, Khun. Have you noticed that whenever he’s given a prop or an outfit, he’s suddenly transform into those characters, like wholeheartedly? I have a suspicion that he’s the same way when it comes to … you know, the foreplay. Try see what he’s been so far:
A stuffed animal.
A Panda (you have angered the original self-proclaimed panda jundyu btw…)
Slightly pedophile Batman.
An overgrown baby.
Indiana Jones (ok this one is rather poor effort).
A butler who is psychotic and will kill you at night with his butcher knife.
A Playboy Bunny (too literal).
Frankenstein.
Jay Park.
The great Buckaroo (pretty convincing due to the fact that his name is a part of it).
A woman (oh God, Taec you are so groce).
A jailbait (this is more natural tbh).
An unattractive person (this one was a little odd for me because the eyebrows didn’t seem to distract me at all. Him and his eyebrows…idek).
8. His individual style
I don’t know if this should be positive or negative, but I do like to pay attention to what Khun wears because they’re always weird.
well ok, this one can be categorized to the khunfusion, but really, Khun? That hair?
And as if it wasn’t weird enough, he once looked like this 
at some point in his life. Did a hairdryer blew up on you or something?
Aside from the hairstyle, he also wears the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen. 
What on earth?
Are you 65?
Like how the fuck can you even see?
Yea, idek.
Alright, this one is not weird at all but he was probably in the middle of contemplating which red-colored clothing item he should wear that day. Buck loves red like Chansung loves food.
9. His suggestive photoshoot
He’s always on the bed.
LIKE.
ALWAYS.
ON THE BED.
It’s either he’s always lazy and sleepy on set or Korea wants you to believe that the only place he belongs, is on your motherfucking bed.
And it’d better be white, fluffy and shit because if it wasn’t, Khun will throw a tantrum and refuse to please you. 
10. He is very humble
This picture has nothing to do with him being humble but there is always an excuse to stare at naked 2PM giants (I wanted to post the whole gang pic but Woo & Junbros had wifebeaters on, goddamnit!!!). Aside from the fame and glory he’s had in his pocket, Khun never forget his family and where he’s come from. We can tell that he’s going to be an amazing dad someday or now if you would father my child.
Khun said if he wasn’t in 2PM, he would have been nobody. I personally disagree because with all the positive attitude and good working ethic that he possesses, this guy would go very far in whichever direction he chooses to go and no matter what he does in life, he will be somebody.
Happy Birthday Khun, hope you heffa good one!
1. He rocks hairstyles no one ever could
Have you seen anyone in Kpop looking as fabulous as him with a bun on his head? If you answered “YES”, then please move along and skip reading this post because it’s obvious you have a different view than the rest of the world. You against the world.
Your choice, bitch.
Speaking of choice, we would never thought pairing a ginger sonic hedgehog hair with an orange shirt but this kid made it look like it was the coolest thing in town. If we were namjas (yes we just slaughtered Korean language but don’t judge because we know you do it too; chingus, nunas, oppars, etc) and we walked into a hair salon, we would have picked that style above even if we were bald. Damn, skunk hair never looked this hawt.
2. He eats his hyungs
Hyungs are food, that’s his philosophy in life. There was a phase that we suspected he was just growing late and still teething, but we then realized it was just him and that’s what he likes to do. Nothing wrong with that, people express their loves in many ways and who knows, maybe he was just re-living the “beast” image we put on them. Although, we noticed he had tasted everyone except Khun. He tried to sniff him here and there but never cared to make further attack. Perhaps he just doesn’t dig imported meat. Patriotism, bitches!!!
3. He’s a Bibliophile
No it’s not a disease, it just means he reads a lot of books. And by books we meant Patrick Süskind and Alain de Botton, not some Bleach and Slam Dunk (looking at chu, Taecyeon, although we have nothing against mangas). He might appear dumb on shows but in real life he’s pretty deep and thoughtful. Not to mention he cries easily. Ok, well maybe that one has more to do with his late-growing than reading books, but whatever, you got the idea.
4. He’s always been the cool kid
9 years of Taekwondo, 3 years Kumdo…I mean, WHAT WHAT?!?! Rumor has it, he already had groupies in his high school following him around to every competition he went since this kid was kicking ass all over Seoul with his tree trunks legs and flawless face. Unfortunately we can’t say the same thing about his friend right here:
but dats okay, life is unfair sometimes.
5. He’s flexible
Ya, we know this is not too special but we just wanted to find excuses to post a picture of his ass…so go ahead and sue us.
6. He’s unpredictable
One moment he’s all
and the next he’ll be all
.
I mean it’s a constant roller coaster for us, the fans, we just don’t know if we should fap or laugh whenever we see him on TV, so it’s fair to say that we have mastered the act of Fap’n’Laugh (yes, we did put so much thinking to come up that name)…just in case.
7. He’s a good actor
Probably not the best screen cap we had for him, but please take a look at this goddamn pic and tell us you didn’t feel his pain from that high kick in a drama called High Kick (oh the irony).
He’s got it, at such a young age too, probably when Wooyoung was still playing soccer and Taecyeon still thought he was modeling (sorry, we love making fun of Taec since he is a troll). Oh and watch out, Wooyoung, because if your tunnel is never ready, Chansung will show you how to get things done:
8. His whisper is the Lucifer
Now you know what SHINee was fussing about. Shit is scarier if it’s based on true story, you guise…trufax.
9. He’s as transparent as Wooyoung’s T-Panty
See what happened there? Jealousy.
Here? Pee-in-my-pants excitement.
Unimpressed by your miniscule penis.
Playing Charades and the word was “holy cow”. He did “holy” already.
This condom is not big enough.
You just jealous.
After he saw your nude pic.
10. He owns something Nickhun never does
A normal set of nipples.
11. He’s the only person Junsu ever slept with
After the rest of the gang badmouthed Su for being stinky and isolated him in an empty room with only a futon, Chansung came and embraced him like Jesus with Mary Magdalene. Too bad Su kind of forgot to return the kindness and even stole Chansung’s given meat from fans which made Chansung almost cried on TV (jfc, what’s with him and crying?). Later tho, we saw Su was teaching Chan some cool mofo gang signs so I guess they worked it out.
12. You could throw some food at him, blind, and it will still go in
“If it fits it’s food”. In his case it’s just like saying “The sky is the limit”, basically.
13. Posting Minjae’s baby pic and claimed that it was him
loljk it’s Chansung…but you never know with the trolling that kids love to do these days and Minjae seems like a guy who would jump into a shark cove covered in blood for 2PM so I don’t think we can get the truth out of him even if we try.
14. His Twitter
It was so entertaining watching him being trolled by Taecyeon (see? we had reasons to make fun of Taec earlier…) and not knowing how to delete a tweet. Also what’s with the horny love-making song he’s been recommending recently? Damn boi don’t be speaking in riddles, just reply to our daily creepy tweets or DM us personally if you /needs a girl/ keukeukeu
15. His sweet mighty abs
You think we forgot? We save the best for last but we rather not show you any picture because we don’t want to disrespect him. LOLJK again, it’s just because we couldn’t choose, they’re all great and you know it. But what we can show you is how fun and kind master he has been for the harem, so here we were the last time we hung out together by the pool. DON’T BE JEALOUS THO’, we’ve warned you in advance.
[We’ve been Chan Harem, celebrating Hwang Chansung birthday in the best way we could possibly do; with dickery and profanity]
1. How to look ballin’
YES
Idk about you but this pic screams bad boy to me. He’s got that playful yet annoying face (a quality that girls dig in playboys, sadly enough) but still teasing us with his cherry popsicle lips as if he’s been sucking it and only it for the last century. Makes you wonder how sweet his lips must taste like, right? Damn. And that blonde head faceless chick on the side only adds to the whole “Don’t mind me I’m just taking random selcas before getting some action in my orgy party in which you are not invited” idea.
NO
Really, Ho? The fingers? And the smirk face is just not working for me so the only action you would be getting is me slapping you in the face.
2. How to take good selcas
YES
We all know the key to a great selca is the amount of lighting to hide our flaws. You need the brightest light you can possibly find, if you can manage to take a picture a mile away from the sun, you might wanna consider that too. Lee Junho right here, is a pro in taking selcas. Do you see how he angled his face to show his jawline and how the light hitting his side as if it’s the only place on earth to hit? That my friend, is what I call skill. Of course the 2nd picture is like an icing on a cake because in case you still look ugly in color, at least you can be ugly-ly classy in b&w. That’s not the case with Junho though.
NO
I mean, what the fuck is happening here?
3. How to take picture with your idol
YES
Fucking own it, dude. You made Rain looks like your backup dancer. You smiled wider than he did, hence THE ATTENTION. And your hat looked better than his. Oh wait…
NO
Were you physically molested? Was he your father you just recently found out about? What’s with the unenthusiastic face? AND WHY THE HELL YOU HAD A BACKPACK ON?
4. How to incorporate fingers into your picture
YES
Although they look awkward and unsure, they work with his face. One hand saying No but the other is almost inviting. It’s like saying “Please don’t come near me because I’m a fragile little flower petal but if you insist and promise to be gentle, you may proceed.”
NO
“I salute you while reaching into my 5 mm caliber gun that I secretly hid under my fluffy winter jacket.” IDEK… even Jay was confused.
5. How to prove that you love animals
YES
Other than the fact that the retriever was wearing a leopard print cardigan and it seemed like it was humping Junho, this picture was a success because I could see the chemistry and Junho looked very pleased with the abundant love he was getting.
NO
He must have put on some duck repellent cream earlier lol even the ugly duckling ran away from him. Poor thing.
6. How to stay cool while consuming food/beverages
YES
WHOA DER, were you grabbing the can or it just magically floated and rested on your perfectly manicured fingers? No one knows and he didn’t seem care either.
NO
No one should ever consume a fake plastic leaf or whatever that was, not on press conference, not even when you had nothing else to eat. Taec’s woven mesh white top looked more edible than that, I mean c’mon.
7. How to look cute on stage
YES
Just keep it minimal, a simple peace sign that makes all fangirls scream like they are on a roller coaster ride. His hidden smile was also perfect, unlike teethy-grin by Taec which, I bet, would be visible if the picture was any lower.
NO
Wow, really? Which part of heaven are you from?
8. How to “own” a stage
YES
Shit, look at his swagga. All dem ladies couldn’t keep their paws at him, and who would blame them? The tight white pants is not even a proper way to begin to explain how hot he looked that night.
NO
RIP
9. How to show abs
YES
Yes although the abs are pretty much non-existent (or NOT YET, dare I say), he did it effortlessly on stage during the singing which makes it look natural. His hip dips are TDF and sue me for saying he’s got the cutest belly button ever.
NO
Such a waste of time and effort, when your audience consists of Ok Taecyeon who although appeared like he was enjoying the view, he at least must have seen the abs 1723720370472384720 million more times before. The other guy was irrelevant enough to deserve such blurring treatment.
10. How to rock a shade
YES
Panties creamed and ovaries burst, sweet lord Jesus why is he so fine?
NO
You know it’s true when you’re constantly looking down at the massive pussy because his massive glasses that resembles KBH RX’s is too painful to see.
11. How to be a supportive band member
YES
He is Lee Junho and he fucking love them all enough to sleep with them every night okhaaaaay how dare you asking such questions?
NO
IDK what he did or what he said but they obviously hated him especially Wooyoung and his abnormally large clown shoes ready to make him GTFO.
12. How to work with your prop
YES
When you get a condom, SAY ANNYEONG AND BREAK IT.
NO
You own them, Lee Junho…don’t let it own your soul.
13. How to tease Hottest
YES
Like, OMG did they do it? Didn’t they do it??? If they didn’t do it why did Junho do that for? Are they dating? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SHADOWY WOMAN BLOCKING OUR VIEW, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? etc etc~ Keeping the mystery going is a part of reason why Stephen King’s novels are famous.
NO
They kissed. The end.
