Happy birthday, Wooyoung. Hope the world is as kind and hopeful as how it seemed years ago when you just won Toddlers & Tiaras. Nice wand, my friend. 

L is for Lethal, not Love - The silver moonlight seeped through her curtain drapes, making silent entrance into the pitch dark room. She sat on her bed with her knees up, touching her chin. Mind wandered as he changed his sleeping position. Why did I cave in, she asked herself. After all these years she struggled to forget him. She was doing so well until last night, one single phone call and her wall shattered to the ground. She is weak. She is confused. Did he deserve her? Probably not. He was beautiful, more than everything she has ever seen. He said things like, let’s go swimming in the sky, he changed like the wind. He would find a bridge from which he would sit and watch the city roll on. Then he would point at the tallest building and said to her, “I would build that for you so we could climb up there and sit down like this”. She would ask him what they would do next, and he would tell her he would find her the next taller building to build. He thinks two steps further than everybody else.

On their first date, he drank all her whiskey, threw up all over her dress and told her he loved her. That moment she knew, he was all she ever wanted. What they had was like a glitch in the matrix, it was all rare and bizarre. But to her, it has to be rare, beautiful, and bizarre, otherwise she doesn’t want it. They were how she imagined connoisseurs to be. Days blazed into countless dusks, spent in confined rooms. Waking up too late, waking up too soon, who cares as long as the sun is still shining? They had each other, he had his way of a lover. He said when he loves someone, he’d do it in little pieces like a puzzle. When they made love, it was like an applique of interlocking souls. They could go for days, turning hunger into perpetual and sleep into an anomaly. 

One day, they fought and she left. Her heart was sliced, diced, and divided into million bits, packaged, conveyed to the highest highs and lowest lows; a construction of one solid principle. The spaces between them should be appreciated, but she always hated the way he lingered, even after he was gone. Bedsheets she had to wash. Screw him, screw these last remnants of his scent. Screw the songs that all sing out his name, his face, his jet black hair. Screw him for the lost memories, they made their way home at the most convenient time. She decided, when he wakes up she would tell him their love is done, it had been, it had passed. To her, their love was like a fairytale, but you see, fairytales aren’t real. He is always two steps ahead, like he’s always been. He would break her heart once again, and this time she would never recover from the pain. 

One of my favorite pictures of her, she looked extremely serene and ethereal.

Happy Birthday, Rebekah Kim. I think I’ve said everything I need to say about how cool this girl is… so cool that she posted her drawing above, 6 months before the famous game was even released lol

1. He’s a whizz kid

Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul. Try pronounce his name 3x and tell me you’re not enchanted by the phonaesthetics that rolls off your tongue. That’s how beautiful his name is, and if you’ve been out of loop since you’ve been living in a hidden cave somewhere, it’s supposed to be pronounced ni-tch-khun, not ni-khun. That tch works magic, okay? Because without “tch”, bitch will only be a bi…so don’t you dare eliminate that fucking “tch”. 

If you’re done learning about his extraordinary name, you must know that this guy swears in 3 languages. Not to mention that he’s now famous everywhere, in Korea, in Thailand, in New Zealand, and in freakin’ Rancho Cucamonga (don’t worry, you don’t have to learn how to pronounce this one). 

Now, who do we thank for all of these achievements? 

Mr. and Mrs. Horvejkul, of course. Since Khun was at such young age, he was already introduced to the stage. 

Ok wait, wrong picture. 

There.

The heart-thumping and emotionally grueling experience of being a performer is never easy, but this kid prevailed. As you can see above, everyone was deeply impressed with the fierceness that exudes from the tip of his tiny little fingers down to his flawless en pointe. 

He was also introduced to his future boss, although in this case it was pretty much coincidental. 

…don’t look too happy, Khun. He’s gonna work your ass off.

2. His eyes are mesmerizing

I mean, seriously, how is that a human? His eyes are so freaking cute and round and innocent, and sometimes make you want to hit him with a club for being so blessed with a beautiful pair of eyes.

Funny how people say Asians got no eyes, just look at them. Chansung’s eye-size is borderline cow’s  and Khun’s are like meerkat’s 

You can’t say no to those eyes even if they asked you to plummet into the deepest pit of hell and bring them back a lava rock as souvenir. You just….can’t.

3. He’s a friendly figure

No doubt Khun has the most fanboys among 2pm members but he never seem to differentiate his fans: 

Although this particular one makes me somewhat uncomfortable: 

4. He’s always confused

There were those days where I typed “khunfused” instead of “confused” and my mom was like “Child, go back to school.” and it’s all because of this guy. He was often caught looking bewildered, and I’m not talking about a “huh?” kind of confusion, he went ALL OUT looking like he did not know a single fuck about what was happening around him. It was again, cute, and amusing because as I mentioned above, his eyes are already big…so when Khun suffers from a serious state of khunfusion, he looks absolutely hilarious. 

  (Jesus Christ, Khun…that is a cone of ice cream. Are you confused or blind?)

5. He has a deadly weapon

Winking vending machine, he was once called. Still eye-related but in this case, it takes more than the physical. You’ve got to have it: the charm, the attitude, and the extra something-something that makes people go crazy when you send those deadly wink like a viper releasing its venom

Like seriously, those sparkles were not added, you guise…they’re naturally blazing off of him.

Another reason why his wink is so deadly, is because it has no gender preference, no one is immune to this thing…we’ve seen how well it’s been working so far

It may look easy to do, I mean…it’s just a wink, right?

WRONG.

It’s trickier than you think. Someone once tried a long time ago and failed miserably:

6. He’s a great model

No doubt, he’s one of the prettiest face in Kpop at the moment. I think JYPE can buy the Cinderella Castle from Disney World with the amount of money Khun brings to the company just by modelling alone if he wants to. It’s like, he has no ugly side. His small face, perfect height and long legs are meant to be photographed, I mean…I would frame his picture, hang it on my wall and claim him to be my son, you know what I mean? That’s how gorgeous he is.

But having said that, I always feel that his legs are too skinny for his body. He was okay two years ago but now that he’s bulked up, thanks to the other two gym freak giants, his proportion looks a bit off.

If I see him in person I would suggest that instead of working out using Chansung’s legs, why not try lift Chansung using his own legs and see how that goes from there

7. He’s into role-play

Kinky, kinky, Khun. Have you noticed that whenever he’s given a prop or an outfit, he’s suddenly transform into those characters, like wholeheartedly? I have a suspicion that he’s the same way when it comes to … you know, the foreplay. Try see what he’s been so far:

A stuffed animal.

A Panda (you have angered the original self-proclaimed panda jundyu btw…)

Slightly pedophile Batman.

An overgrown baby.

Indiana Jones (ok this one is rather poor effort).

A butler who is psychotic and will kill you at night with his butcher knife.

A Playboy Bunny (too literal).

Frankenstein.

Jay Park.

The great Buckaroo (pretty convincing due to the fact that his name is a part of it).

A woman (oh God, Taec you are so groce).

A jailbait (this is more natural tbh).

An unattractive person (this one was a little odd for me because the eyebrows didn’t seem to distract me at all. Him and his eyebrows…idek).

8. His individual style

I don’t know if this should be positive or negative, but I do like to pay attention to what Khun wears because they’re always weird. 

 well ok, this one can be categorized to the khunfusion, but really, Khun? That hair?

And as if it wasn’t weird enough, he once looked like this  at some point in his life. Did a hairdryer blew up on you or something?

Aside from the hairstyle, he also wears the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen. What on earth?

Are you 65?

Like how the fuck can you even see?

Yea, idek.

Alright, this one is not weird at all but he was probably in the middle of contemplating which red-colored clothing item he should wear that day. Buck loves red like Chansung loves food.

9. His suggestive photoshoot

He’s always on the bed. 

LIKE.

ALWAYS.

ON THE BED.

It’s either he’s always lazy and sleepy on set or Korea wants you to believe that the only place he belongs, is on your motherfucking bed.

And it’d better be white, fluffy and shit because if it wasn’t, Khun will throw a tantrum and refuse to please you. 

10. He is very humble

This picture has nothing to do with him being humble but there is always an excuse to stare at naked 2PM giants (I wanted to post the whole gang pic but Woo & Junbros had wifebeaters on, goddamnit!!!). Aside from the fame and glory he’s had in his pocket, Khun never forget his family and where he’s come from. We can tell that he’s going to be an amazing dad someday or now if you would father my child.

Khun said if he wasn’t in 2PM, he would have been nobody. I personally disagree because with all the positive attitude and good working ethic that he possesses, this guy would go very far in whichever direction he chooses to go and no matter what he does in life, he will be somebody.  

Happy Birthday Khun, hope you heffa good one!

So cute ;A; oh and happy birthday Raina, you tiny cute hamster

(Source: monahearts)

fuckyeahgeneralhwang:

1. He rocks hairstyles no one ever could

Have you seen anyone in Kpop looking as fabulous as him with a bun on his head? If you answered “YES”, then please move along and skip reading this post because it’s obvious you have a different view than the rest of the world. You against the world.

Your choice, bitch.

Speaking of choice, we would never thought pairing a ginger sonic hedgehog hair with an orange shirt but this kid made it look like it was the coolest thing in town. If we were namjas (yes we just slaughtered Korean language but don’t judge because we know you do it too; chingus, nunas, oppars, etc) and we walked into a hair salon, we would have picked that style above even if we were bald. Damn, skunk hair never looked this hawt.

2. He eats his hyungs

Hyungs are food, that’s his philosophy in life. There was a phase that we suspected he was just growing late and still teething, but we then realized it was just him and that’s what he likes to do. Nothing wrong with that, people express their loves in many ways and who knows, maybe he was just re-living the “beast” image we put on them. Although, we noticed he had tasted everyone except Khun. He tried to sniff him here and there but never cared to make further attack. Perhaps he just doesn’t dig imported meat. Patriotism, bitches!!!

3. He’s a Bibliophile

No it’s not a disease, it just means he reads a lot of books. And by books we meant Patrick Süskind and Alain de Botton, not some Bleach and Slam Dunk (looking at chu, Taecyeon, although we have nothing against mangas). He might appear dumb on shows but in real life he’s pretty deep and thoughtful. Not to mention he cries easily. Ok, well maybe that one has more to do with his late-growing than reading books, but whatever, you got the idea.

4. He’s always been the cool kid

9 years of Taekwondo, 3 years Kumdo…I mean, WHAT WHAT?!?! Rumor has it, he already had groupies in his high school following him around to every competition he went since this kid was kicking ass all over Seoul with his tree trunks legs and flawless face. Unfortunately we can’t say the same thing about his friend right here:

but dats okay, life is unfair sometimes.

5. He’s flexible

Ya, we know this is not too special but we just wanted to find excuses to post a picture of his ass…so go ahead and sue us.

6. He’s unpredictable

One moment he’s all  and the next he’ll be all .

I mean it’s a constant roller coaster for us, the fans, we just don’t know if we should fap or laugh whenever we see him on TV, so it’s fair to say that we have mastered the act of Fap’n’Laugh (yes, we did put so much thinking to come up that name)…just in case.

7. He’s a good actor

Probably not the best screen cap we had for him, but please take a look at this goddamn pic and tell us you didn’t feel his pain from that high kick in a drama called High Kick (oh the irony).

He’s got it, at such a young age too, probably when Wooyoung was still playing soccer and Taecyeon still thought he was modeling (sorry, we love making fun of Taec since he is a troll). Oh and watch out, Wooyoung, because if your tunnel is never ready, Chansung will show you how to get things done:

8. His whisper is the Lucifer

Now you know what SHINee was fussing about. Shit is scarier if it’s based on true story, you guise…trufax.

9. He’s as transparent as Wooyoung’s T-Panty

See what happened there? Jealousy.

Here? Pee-in-my-pants excitement.

Unimpressed by your miniscule penis.

Playing Charades and the word was “holy cow”. He did “holy” already.

This condom is not big enough.

You just jealous.

After he saw your nude pic.

10. He owns something Nickhun never does

A normal set of nipples.

11. He’s the only person Junsu ever slept with

After the rest of the gang badmouthed Su for being stinky and isolated him in an empty room with only a futon, Chansung came and embraced him like Jesus with Mary Magdalene. Too bad Su kind of forgot to return the kindness and even stole Chansung’s given meat from fans which made Chansung almost cried on TV (jfc, what’s with him and crying?). Later tho, we saw Su was teaching Chan some cool mofo gang signs so I guess they worked it out. 

12. You could throw some food at him, blind, and it will still go in

“If it fits it’s food”. In his case it’s just like saying “The sky is the limit”, basically.

13. Posting Minjae’s baby pic and claimed that it was him

loljk it’s Chansung…but you never know with the trolling that kids love to do these days and Minjae seems like a guy who would jump into a shark cove covered in blood for 2PM so I don’t think we can get the truth out of him even if we try.

14. His Twitter

It was so entertaining watching him being trolled by Taecyeon (see? we had reasons to make fun of Taec earlier…) and not knowing how to delete a tweet. Also what’s with the horny love-making song he’s been recommending recently? Damn boi don’t be speaking in riddles, just reply to our daily creepy tweets or DM us personally if you /needs a girl/ keukeukeu

15. His sweet mighty abs

You think we forgot? We save the best for last but we rather not show you any picture because we don’t want to disrespect him. LOLJK again, it’s just because we couldn’t choose, they’re all great and you know it. But what we can show you is how fun and kind master he has been for the harem, so here we were the last time we hung out together by the pool. DON’T BE JEALOUS THO’, we’ve warned you in advance.

[We’ve been Chan Harem, celebrating Hwang Chansung birthday in the best way we could possibly do; with dickery and profanity]

1. How to look ballin’

YES

Idk about you but this pic screams bad boy to me. He’s got that playful yet annoying face (a quality that girls dig in playboys, sadly enough) but still teasing us with his cherry popsicle lips as if he’s been sucking it and only it for the last century. Makes you wonder how sweet his lips must taste like, right? Damn. And that blonde head faceless chick on the side only adds to the whole “Don’t mind me I’m just taking random selcas before getting some action in my orgy party in which you are not invited” idea.

NO

Really, Ho? The fingers? And the smirk face is just not working for me so the only action you would be getting is me slapping you in the face.

2. How to take good selcas

YES

We all know the key to a great selca is the amount of lighting to hide our flaws. You need the brightest light you can possibly find, if you can manage to take a picture a mile away from the sun, you might wanna consider that too. Lee Junho right here, is a pro in taking selcas. Do you see how he angled his face to show his jawline and how the light hitting his side as if it’s the only place on earth to hit? That my friend, is what I call skill. Of course the 2nd picture is like an icing on a cake because in case you still look ugly in color, at least you can be ugly-ly classy in b&w. That’s not the case with Junho though.

NO

I mean, what the fuck is happening here?

3. How to take picture with your idol

YES

Fucking own it, dude. You made Rain looks like your backup dancer. You smiled wider than he did, hence THE ATTENTION. And your hat looked better than his. Oh wait…

NO

Were you physically molested? Was he your father you just recently found out about? What’s with the unenthusiastic face? AND WHY THE HELL YOU HAD A BACKPACK ON?

4. How to incorporate fingers into your picture

YES

Although they look awkward and unsure, they work with his face. One hand saying No but the other is almost inviting. It’s like saying “Please don’t come near me because I’m a fragile little flower petal but if you insist and promise to be gentle, you may proceed.”

NO

“I salute you while reaching into my 5 mm caliber gun that I secretly hid under my fluffy winter jacket.” IDEK… even Jay was confused.

5. How to prove that you love animals

YES

Other than the fact that the retriever was wearing a leopard print cardigan and it seemed like it was humping Junho, this picture was a success because I could see the chemistry and Junho looked very pleased with the abundant love he was getting.

NO

He must have put on some duck repellent cream earlier lol even the ugly duckling ran away from him. Poor thing.

6. How to stay cool while consuming food/beverages

YES

WHOA DER, were you grabbing the can or it just magically floated and rested on your perfectly manicured fingers? No one knows and he didn’t seem care either.

NO

No one should ever consume a fake plastic leaf or whatever that was, not on press conference, not even when you had nothing else to eat. Taec’s woven mesh white top looked more edible than that, I mean c’mon.

7. How to look cute on stage

YES

Just keep it minimal, a simple peace sign that makes all fangirls scream like they are on a roller coaster ride. His hidden smile was also perfect, unlike teethy-grin by Taec which, I bet, would be visible if the picture was any lower.

NO

Wow, really? Which part of heaven are you from?

8. How to “own” a stage

YES

Shit, look at his swagga. All dem ladies couldn’t keep their paws at him, and who would blame them? The tight white pants is not even a proper way to begin to explain how hot he looked that night.

NO

RIP

9. How to show abs

YES

Yes although the abs are pretty much non-existent (or NOT YET, dare I say), he did it effortlessly on stage during the singing which makes it look natural. His hip dips are TDF and sue me for saying he’s got the cutest belly button ever.

NO

Such a waste of time and effort, when your audience consists of Ok Taecyeon who although appeared like he was enjoying the view, he at least must have seen the abs 1723720370472384720 million more times before. The other guy was irrelevant enough to deserve such blurring treatment. 

10. How to rock a shade

YES

Panties creamed and ovaries burst, sweet lord Jesus why is he so fine? 

NO

You know it’s true when you’re constantly looking down at the massive pussy because his massive glasses that resembles KBH RX’s is too painful to see.

11. How to be a supportive band member

YES

He is Lee Junho and he fucking love them all enough to sleep with them every night okhaaaaay how dare you asking such questions?

NO

IDK what he did or what he said but they obviously hated him especially Wooyoung and his abnormally large clown shoes ready to make him GTFO.

12. How to work with your prop

YES

When you get a condom, SAY ANNYEONG AND BREAK IT.

NO

You own them, Lee Junho…don’t let it own your soul.

13. How to tease Hottest

YES

Like, OMG did they do it? Didn’t they do it??? If they didn’t do it why did Junho do that for? Are they dating? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SHADOWY WOMAN BLOCKING OUR VIEW, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? etc etc~ Keeping the mystery going is a part of reason why Stephen King’s novels are famous.

NO

They kissed. The end.

1. His lips

Although I have an obsession on tying Chansung’s lips with rubber band and playing with them all day long, I can’t resist to notice that Junsu’s lips are so omnomnom. They’re always plump, red, and juicy. They’re like strawberries.

2. His long slender fingers

I mean like, 80% of his pictures would focus on his fingers. He’s either making a peace sign, pointing at chu, or like this pic above, modeling his other fingers. I would buy it, still…

3. His tongue

I don’t know if he’s purposely teasing us or just plain clueless that he always looks like he wants to give oral sex to the air. It’s sexy and cute at the same time, but in this particular picture I just never understand what he was trying to do:

4. His airport fashion

They’re always unpredictable. It’s like he’s trying to play games with you and challenge you to guess what he will be wearing next. While Wooyoung always seems to age 10 years whenever he stepped out the plane, Junsu always looks flawless. Like this time, he obviously killed a bear somewhere overseas and brought it back as a souvenir.

5. His strong believe on gravity

Pants on the ground. Always. But being a fashionista of course he would make sure he’s also wearing a matching underwear, I mean, hey.

6. He’s on Weight Watchers

Shame on you, Buck, eating samgyupsal. Look at him eating a bowl of salad. You are what you eat.

7. His Love/Hate relationship with Buck

Never noticed it, haven’t ya? lol

8. He is cray

Or always drunk, I’m not really sure.

9. His obsession with Starbucks

With the amount of beverage companies sponsoring 2PM, I’m surprised that Starbucks haven’t called JYPE to sponsor Junsu. I mean, he’s like a walking Starbucks ad.

10. His plush fetish

He is kinky, I’m telling you. You better prepare.

11. He is cuter than you

I normally can’t stand guys making blowfish face (except Chansung because he’s just cute as fuck /bias talk) but when it comes to Junsu I always give an exception. He does that a lot and it doesn’t make me want to choke a flamingo. That picture above is just another form of his cuteness.

12. His skin

God is unfair sometimes.

13. His bluntness

He’s a namja and he knows what he wants. It’s just a matter of voicing your thought to the public or keeping them inside and fap later at night. Like Lee Junho up there.

14. Being the only person who finds Junho funny

Slightly believe it’s just a courtesy of being an older brother. But have you ever heard Junsu’s laugh? It sounds so refreshing and crisp. Like potato chips.

(Ok, idk why I keep making reference related to food, perhaps because it’s 12 PM & I haven’t eaten anything. Apologies.)

15. His hidden gems

NGL before he showed this picture I always suspected he had a third nipple or something unusual that he’s hiding but…HOT DAMN AIN’T HE A STUD??? And props to him for keeping the mystery among Hottest for the longest time. I hetchu but I luvya.

16. He is accident prone

Idk if it has to do with him being the oldest or he’s just very unfortunate. Accidents always find him no matter where he goes and what he does. Luckily he has someone like Ok Taecyeon as a roommate to carry him down from his top bunk bed every morning. Please give him more space in your room, Junsu. He’s earned it.

17. He is somewhat irrelevant

Even other boyband member thinks so too.

18. He loves Mean Girls

There is no further explanation.

19. He acts his age

If I never knew 2PM and was asked to guess who is the oldest, I’m sure I would guess Junsu right away. He has an aura of being the oldest, not so much the leader, but he would give you the idea that he’s the stable one. Mentally and spiritually. And of course I would guess Wooyoung as the youngest because he looks 5.

20. His stage presence

It’s undeniable, he owns every stage. He always gives 100% and you can see it in his eyes, even when he was sick. To me, he has the best presence in 2PM and you will notice that whenever he sings or raps, he does it from the heart. “His love for music” didn’t make it to my list, not because I oversee it…but because it’s a no-brainer.

Happy Birthday Kim Junsu. We love you the way you are.

Happy Birthday my dear @jaypark- Shaboobs, I know you will never forgive me for saying that this girl looks like you as well as so many other random accusations I threw in your direction but you’re always laughing and never butthurting so I just wanna tell you that I really appreciate your healthy sense of humour and the level of maturity.

Although I’ve always joked about how you are the baby of the group and pointed out your need of chastity belt since you are a hoar, the truth is I’ve never viewed you as a minor. I MAY have viewed you as a dude but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Anyway, here I am using this picture again and I know you’re gonna hate me AGAIN but since this is your birthday I figure you need to be reminded that you’re just as cool as her, to become the face of a meme.

Stay osm, dear friend…hope you rape Jay when you see him and if Steproc is there don’t forget to give him insoles from me ok? Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, OK, promise? Now go take some rubbers.

Have a good one. I love you.